Whats the hitch with getting hitched - Part II

Read on, if you arent already braindead after Part I

Lets try and analyze what the possible answers are:

Am i gay ? No, definitely not.

Am i one of these bengali-type-dhaadi/johlna bag/kurta type bachelor types ? Hell no

Any other unspeakable problem that prevents me ?  No

Girlfriend/Serious kasamusa (as IS puts it charmingly) ? Nope. (Unless one counts Fa's proposal in Feb. Fa, of course was joking and in any case has a boyfriend, a 10 year old boy and an Ex-Husband. Zeenat has a bloodpressure problem i have to reckon with!)

The answer isnt objective. It is a mixture of reasons.

The most obvious reason is that all this is much too early for me and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. At work or with social contacts i work with a strict system - when i am cornered / feel uncomfortable. I instinctively know that it wont work for me and remove it from my regular thought process bank - stop talking to people / answering calls / replying to emails - with a silly, fiercely wonkish resolve.

I mean, the subject was first broached 3/4 months before and it cant get too serious all too sudden - a guy needs sometime to figure out internally where he stands. No ?

For someone already in love with X or Y - getting hitched is something to look forward to - formalize the association, living together etc. For me, so far, its something that i havent given thought about. And in my opinion while i am still feeling 'insecure' at work ( I still am, Majorly in terms of many things) this might just prove to much too much of a thing to grapple with.

While it probably is something that eventually is going to happen - i certainly am NOT looking forward to it - atleast now - if you get what i mean. 

There are other minor issues - while my parents have enough money to not to let it be a consideration - i still would prefer to be on a much stronger wicket in terms of personal finances (There is my theory where one fixed deposit paying 40,000 a month in interest put in place as a trust fund BEFORE theres some1 dependent. The trustfund fully created from my own capital. Not Marlon Brando's)

I mean, why cant there be an option where i can choose to remain unmarried as long as i like - hoping to eventually develop a level of maturity adequate enough to actually be able to cultivate relationships, friendships over a larger selection of the female population - and possibly identify a good fit, i mean, um, chemistry wise. This, i guess, is the western system. 

[ ** Off track: The key argument against the above theory is that in the Indian market - the number of available, eligible females drops drastically (not unlike the extremes of a bell/Normal distribution curve) - after the 25/26 age bracket. 

So while i would have spurned the chance of actually getting into a satisfying, more or less stable (if not entirely 110% as dreamy as one wud av wanted it) long term asscociation - i will end up as an older wreck, no better equipped to land a 10/10 girlfriend than i am now - but with an alarmingly diminished set of available females to attempt to patafy by myself - and leave zeenat with this nearly hopeless, heartbreaking assignment.

This is probably the reason why Indians get hitched so fast - older means smaller market - so ones better off going with the guaranteed common minimum programme ]

Anyone just getting started on a career or is still working some 6 year PhD has all the reasons to keep their respective parents from nagging them - but in slightly special positions like how i am in - parents come after you with the proverbial pitchforks & torches - on a near daily basis - especially if they are the paavum, nice, orthodoxy kind. Cant blame them really. For eg. I am sure that all the above bullcrap will seem like a joke to them - hardly any reason to continue procrastinating. 

And thusly ends my tedious discourse on this subject. 

And with today's freakshow from breakfast, the onus shifts back to me - to prove how that the 1 year or so breathing space ive insisted on will condition me to face the ordeal better. 

If only i had been a more gregarious, less obnoxious, less sarcastic - normal kind of guy - i wud av had more friends, experiences to help me form a better perspective about these things.

*sigh*