*Ding*

Just hung up the phone after a 20 minute heart to heart with a pakistani customer.

These pakistani guys have this way with their words - 15 mins of an avuncular, mildly rebuky hindi lecture from a favorite customer you spent many a wee hour at night to develop - and I have tears in my eyes. I really have. 

He had been trying to reach me for the last 3 days - i did not send replies to his emails, quoted him a wrong price last night and did not of course answer my mobile when he called because i was in and out of coating division visits (which is another sob story in itself) all of the days.

He thought i wasnt well or was pissed off with him or just preoccupied with something terribly urgent and life threatening. 

It took me a full 15 minutes to mollify him - 'bhai jaan' him and complete his work - which normally takes only 10 minutes of concentration  - which id successfully procrastinated for 4 days.

Trouble is - hes not an isolated case- there are equally pissed off brazilians, syrians, colombians, egyptians, iranians and i guess the girl or two from Uruguay & Chile - who are normally used to my style of work suddenly find that theyve lost a normally bubbly, quick and resourceful friend.

I am drifting - im irritable, pissed off and brooding all day. A little tired too. 

Maybe i should quit going to the gym - i prefer being a fat,well liked, productive guy - than being a thinner, procrastinating, excuse-providing asshole. 

Am Suddenly feeling alone, miserable and stupid. 

Update:

I just wikified procrastination. The first few paragraphs hit you like a kick in the balls. 

Procrastination is a behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.

Psychology researchers also have three criteria they use to categorize procrastination. For a behavior to be classified as procrastination, it must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.

For an individual, procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of personal productivity, the creation of crisis and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments. These combined feelings can promote further procrastination. 

While it is normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological or physiological disorder.