Right then. Masala time!

2009 will go down as a special year because of umpteen things i’d rather not burden (this already miserable) blog with.

But, 2009, amongst other things – is the year of my ipod (In specific – the grey, 8 GB nano)

I dont normally bother with tweaking / frequently uploading / downloading content on & off the ipod etc. – theres normally one session every year or so where i cram everything i can find into it and build playlists as i keep playing, over usage, if you get the idea.

While this is NOT the ideal method to use the ipod properly as many people have told me – i am too lazy to try anything else.

Here are a list of 10 songs (old ones, all of them) that i sort of re-connected with during random encounters whilst using the ipod.

We start with the profound In this world  (Ronan keating), go on to Jiye tho jiye (Saajan), Dil Chahta Hai ,Yellow (Coldplay), Split screen sadness (John Mayer), Kaise Mujhe (Ghajini), White flag (dido), All that i need (my favoritest boybandish song ever), Real gone (Sheryl crow).

This rounds off the list along with the very interesting Tumse Milna **

(** It, of course, is a lovely song – the audio part, that is. The ridiculous video ( the one i found on youtube atleast) features subtitles, Salman Khan(topless, AND with a HOWLarious hairdo ) and poor bhumika running around in circles )

See anything you like ?

And, No. ‘Salman khan’ is not an acceptable answer.

P.s – I am working on a book list – more later.

Remember, X, the girl i had this thing for ? **

I referred to her as ‘the Bi*^#&’ today, during course of a casual telecon with D. D did not have an opinion, but then he does not know.

** I briefly contemplated putting in ‘have’ in place of ‘had’. But ‘had’ it is.

P.s and she’s a member of ‘Chetan Bhagat Rockssss!’ fanclub on facebook, for fucks’sake! i should have fucking known!

We’re at this point at work where everyone feels stretched, stressed and pretty close to each of our ‘capability ceilings’ acceptable for our given personal bandwidth, skillset levels.**

We’ve taken a very important decision today – that i’l run down clear numbers – critical numbers that we always talk about – Revenues, Receipts, Costs (splits), Bottom-line – on a month to month basis for my 2 divisions and we discuss them, The Old man and I, for a few hours, on every new month’s 1st or 2nd.

We of course do this unofficially all the time – but most often with other angles in mind – for eg. to facilitate a decision process and almost always with a shadow of some past one-time spike OR potential future spike factored into the discussion – ideally NOT the best backdrop for number crunching.

This way, if we’ve done as promised – i’ll do the yelling – and if we haven't – he can. And this way, we both know WTF we are doing, whos delusional and whos not.

** Remember, i said, ‘feel’.

The old man has instinct screaming at him – that the last year or so has seen FAR too much activity (Good and bad) and such a state of ‘prolonged excitement’ without ‘assimilation’ is NOT a good state of affairs.

But then as they all say – to be able to pass judgements / monitor or control ‘critical parameters’ they ought to be first measured.

Whew!

It sure has been a long time since I turned to the blog, um, out of sheer exhaustion (cant think of a better word)

I have been parked at the Emirates Lounge now for, well, a few hours now, trying to get through some work and i am just about saturated. Will finish this up, take a shower, sup a bit and join the madras-bound queue.

Have been in Amman for the last few days, attending to this special client’s problem – and there's all sort of shit hitting the fan – all at one time – in several places. Almost every project ive been involved with for the last 6 months or so has had serious, fire-fight-worthy developments.

And Amman turned out to be the least of all the problems. And it wasn't small, believe me. The client, very well known to me, in his ‘proud-jordanian-and-as-unreasonably-arab-as-they-come’ kind of way was gracious – but made sure that he gave me a vicious tongue-lashing and also made sure that we were penalized enough to make my old man yell at me over phone.

The yelling did not stop there, nor was he the only one who did the yelling. As i said, full container loads of shit hit the fan this week.

So here i am - tired, jet lagged, ego-shattered and awfully tired of hummus, moutabel, pita (in any bloody form), cheese, olives and Arabs.

A HUGE amount (if not ALL) of what we do directly depends upon who we are trying to impress, who we admire, who we look up to and who we look to emulate. Which is why simple people whose private / social lives are aligned to their work do particularly well.

On another related subject –

In that sense, i think i should have started directly working after Class 12. What little education ive had appears to have spoilt me – made me unsuited for even the most elementary kinds of standardized tasks.

I, in fact, sortof feel bad for all those PhD types who start working when they’re like 29 or 30 – there’re HUGE numbers of  jobs they’re unqualified for, sort of overqualified for, you could say. Puts lots of restrictions on what one can do to make a living.

P.s I totally need a shrink. No ?

More…

I probably am a little, um, in Love as well. But it sure as hell is one project which is not going anywhere.

And now that we’re here, i am not even sure if i actually WANT it to go anywhere*

For some strange reason i cant explain, i actually am looking forward to putting it behind and getting back on track on the rebound.

But cant seem to be able to get to it. Not just yet.

But a rebound is more than due. A few more kicks-in-the-arse pending, maybe ?

* - T calls it ‘A case of the useless fox, the unreachable grapes and the whole thing being called off because they are purportedly sour’.

I realize that, for the most part, what i really need are a few, well-placed, kicks-in-the-arse to keep me / get me on track.

I got quite a few today.

In fact, every time i appear to have done a little well at work – it almost always has been on the back of at least one of these  ‘getting-my-arse-kicked’ episodes. Sort of on a rebound, so to speak.

Is this normal ? Doesn't it show a complete lack of motivation ?

Do i really know where i WANT to be, in the macro sense ? Like, long termish ?

Maybe the fact is that i DONT really know – not really thinking about it – thusly making me drift – and just responding to stimulus (the ‘getting-my-arse-kicked’ episodes)

Ok. We have loads of stuff to get through, put down on paper, so to speak and preserve for posterity. So we'll stay as concise as possible through this post.

(a bloody welcome change from this blog's normal narrative style, no ? heh)

My tuppence worth on IB:

Wonderfully made movie, is IB. Highly recommended. One cant call it a,um, fun movie i guess. It is nice and rambly - BRILLIANT performances from every last member of the cast - Hans Landa takes the gold, of course, Shosana, Brad Pitt as Aldo ( overdid his accent, i thought though), the key members of the Inglorious basterds, Diane kruger, the gestapo colonel at the bar, the french dairy farmer from the first scene - all brilliant.

To be honest, the movie's whole plot is sort of weakish - hardly any substance or meat sticks in mind (like say, Munich, for example, if you get the point) - but scene by scene, Tarantino has crafted the movie around performances. The first scene ending with 'Au Revoir! Shosana!', the bar scene featuring the Diane Kruger randevous, a few scenes featuring the basterds - scene by scene like these listed above are near superlative.

MUST watch - if one hasnt seen it yet.

On to other things now:

Zeenat, under the influence of yet another stroke of hyperness has actually done the unthinkable.

She hired a cook - from yesterday. The cook is a typical Iyengar maami, calls Rasam 'Saathamudu' and calls me 'Ambi'. Shes comes in for about an hour and half in the morning and for about a couple more in the evening to cook 2 meals for the entire household (which is just me, MB, Zeenat and 2 maids).

We have been protesting, MB and I - i have been eating Thayir Saadam + Naarthangai oorgai for all the 2 days (despite being unwell) while MB has been sulking at the table complaining about salt, this and that.

Zeenat, as determined as she is, is taken it all in stride - she claims that she did this to 'free herself up' a little more, whatever that means! Shes been giving Similar trouble at work too.

Shes sort of going through some sort of mid-life crisis i guess. MB seems as clueless as i am though. That or he isnt telling. I am worried though.

Other stuff

I havent been well for the last 3-4 days. Went to plant only yesterday. Bunked out at home today, went to hospital got shots and about Rs.500 worth of Dolo 650 (paracetamol, which we already have BOXES of at home), Levofloxacin (What an FQ antibiotic will do for viral fever, i dont know) and what surely must be an irrational combination of 500mg paracetamol + 5 mg cetirizine + 5 mg phenylpropanolamine. That makes my daily intake of paracetamol = 650 x 3 + 500 x 2 = 2950 mg.

What am i, a horse ?

The Oppie bio:

As i mentioned before, i had earlier acquired a copy of this brilliant book. Its turning out to be one of the best bios ive done in quite a while now. Thoroughly researched, splendidly written. The amount of exposure oppenheimer had born to first general German-Jewish immigrants in New York, undergraduate from Standard, Postgraduate education from Cambridge (UK) then on to work with nearly every superlative physicist of the era by work in Germany, in Holland etc. work with people like Heisenberg, Paul Dirac, Cavendish, Max Born, Pauli and LOADs more. He could speak nearly every major European language, heck, even sanskrit it looks like.

One also realizes how the 'Golden period' of america was built around people like Oppie, who had the skills and the exposure and the later the channels to focus their talents on -

I am still on it - more later maybe. But superb book, strongly recommended.

Enough for today, i guess.

P.s 1 – This is showing at the RDX screen in Satyam from 18 Dec. I am looking forward to it.

P.s.2 – I am going to Jordan on the 19th for a few days. As much as i resisted it – i haven't been able to put it off. Might as well have fun, no ? But really bad time to be going abroad and all because work here is not chugging along as nicely as one would have liked – and i am expected to tighten screws and get it going. I leave, everything goes phut for another week. WTF, lets c.

The last of the fixtures have arrived – they fit perfectly – there is now a godawful amount of pressure on putting all the acquired hardware to use.

Have to produce more, convert hardware into production systems, get the lab in shape (Awfully expensive lab hardware from Agilent (7890 GC, 12 vi static HS) & Waters ( Isocratic HPLC, UV – vis detector , Empower complete version) are lying unopened, uninstalled, not contributing) get EMEA approval and all pretty damn quick.

There is more than subtle pressure on me now.

Phase I – Due diligence, Coughing up $$ and putting the $$ to the correct use – this phase is pretty much done by now.

Phase II – The business plan must be put to work. All physical assets are to be converted into useful objects which help to make $$. Promotions, customer calls, audits, approvals, Visas, Visits and *sigh* websites.

Phase II is mostly on my head.

On the brighter side, if (im sure we will, so lets say WHEN, shall we?) – ok – WHEN – we pull it off – we’d have more than definitely gotten somewhere.

Heck, I’d have gotten somewhere too.

I’l be counted in as one of the grown-ups, i wont feel bad about obsessing about a vacation in Scotland and probably receive less Gaali in return after lecturing MB on how to run a business hes managed to build over 20 odd years.

P.s I am working on a broadish website theme – one for our pharma business and the other for our other verticals. I’d doing our business a BIG disservice if i dont get them both up and running before the New year.

Trouble is, like with everything else, i try and set my own standards for design and structure right up there near The Newyorktimes and the Guardian – and consequently squander away time on pointless evaluations of content management systems, opensource platforms and what not – while the actual sites have already been paid for – just waiting for specific content (MY job)

I am probably not very different from some of these regular talentless assholes.

The sooner i realize it and churn out more common minimum standard** level work – the better for me. No ?

P.s 2 Here is a little something for download – it looks like a joke, i know – but it sort of is the skeleton around which i am making a big presentation for submission on Monday.