;)
I voted first time this monday. My forefinger is still stained with the indelible ink that they put on it (" It is easily soluble in Oxalic acid" - says my brother. I'l try tomorrow :) )
11:00 PM Sunday Night: My mom storms into my room and says, ' if you dont wake up in time to vote before 8 AM, ul be sorry'. she mumbles something about how i'l become blind in 5 years after such relentless staring into a computer and leaves.
8:00 AM Monday Morning: I had woken up about 10 minutes before and was reading the Business Line in the Loo when i hear this 'rap rap' followed a series of curses in Tamil. It appears that my dad is already in the Car and has apparently been honking for 5 minutes. I rush out and get into new clothes and get in the car.
8:30 AM - The polling booth. My dad loses his temper over parking space, i drop him off and park it besides an alarming looking van labelled 'vajra' (THe police riot vehicle type van with guys wearing fatigues & helmets seated inside)
8:45 AM - the queue is surprising is very short and at this stage, i start to panic.
I slowly ask my mother - " Amma , nee yaarukku ootu poduve ? " [ amma, who will you vote for ? ].
She says ' chumma iruda, thona thona nu. Appa is already angry ' [ shut up, dad is already angry ]
Aha - i catch sight of the list of canditates and their respective symbols.
There are about 10 - 12 names with symbols like a drum, a monkey, a woman carrying stuff on her head, a top, some kinda,um, urn - 1 recognize two of them - irrataai ilai (Jaya's) and the Palm
(at this stage iam note sure whose symbol this is - i ask my mother, " amma, youve heard of this guy before ? "- she says, "oh! hes congress" [ so ok, the palm is congress's symbol ] )
Surprisingly the "udhaya suriyan" is missing. ( "No DMK here ?" - i ask. "dai adhan PMK irukule da ! " - Says dad. Um, Ok )
At this stage my brother says, "I 'l vote for vijaykanth" He then asks my dad, " appa edhu vijaykanth symbol ?". My dad glares at him and says " Paaru evan laam ottu poda vadhuttan, Medical student vera - enna symbolne theriyama " [ see, look whos come to vote and hes a medical student too !! ]
At this stage, my mothers already gone to the machine and my turn will come after my dad goes in next.
I suddenly panic and ask my brother " Dai Vaada, lets go out - i dont know who to vote for "
- he says, "dey, dont be silly da ! use the 39 D (or some crap like that) da, u just press that button marked " NO VOTE - I do not believe that any canditate is worthy" - so confidently that i march to the guy with the list.
he looks my License over and says "are you Abhi LAAJJ ? " (Pronounced like mumtaz) [ not that i blame the guy, my photo on the license always looked kinda creepy ]
I nod and he calls out loudly " No.72 , Abhi LAAAJJJJ" ( a few of the 'observers' turn to me and give me a once over, i ignore their attention and walk over to the women with the indelible ink and get myself marked )
I walk proudly up to the machine with my index finger poised to make the kill. The lady with the ink says " WAIT !!" - " why are you in a hurry ? I have to press the ready button here " she says. I wait for her for about 5 seconds by the side of the machine.
When there is a beep and the lady nods, i walk over and have my first look at the machine and look for the "NO VOTE button". i was in for a rude shock. all buttons are marked with symbols and if i have to save my ass from being humiliated in front of about a fifty people i have to vote.
I,um, stare the machine for about 10 seconds with my index finger pointing and in the next 2 seconds, i realize that iam now beyond redemption - if i say " NO I WONT VOTE NOW " I was 200% sure that i ud be laughed at.
so like the other millions of spineless tamilians, i press " button 2 : SV Shanmugam" and almost run back to the car, fighting back shame and remorse. My dad is the middle of a sermon chastising my brother whos voted for the 'drums' [ vijaykanth ] because ' he felt that he wont vote for J or the old man' - as he put it.
I glare at him and point out that the "NO VOTE" button did not exist and what a fool he is to vote for vijaykanth. My dad says that theres form that i can fill up with the guy [ 'abhi laaajjj' ] which will nullify my vote, that theres no electronic provision for it presently.
So Dear Naresh Gupta Ji (Dhyaan Deke suniyega)
When you come on NDTV or CNN IBN and declare that it is every citizen's duty to vote please make sure that there is a button marked " NO DEAL ! I DONT WANT TO VOTE FOR ANY OF THESE BUGGERS " because otherwise there are only 2 options left:
1. Become an immoral citizen by bunking election (I cudav continued reading about the Mittal - Arcelor deal in the loo)
2. Chicken out and be FORCED to vote for some1 uve never heard of / dont give a damn about / dont like 1 bit
if such a button existed, iam positive that 80% voters will use that and make the point felt. That, along with another rule which will say' " There will be president's rule imposed if more than 50% of the state's citizens feel that way" - will make sure that politicians do a better job
***Yawn*** friggin long post .
gotta go
[ A link for my blog will be out on Orkut from today and will stay on for 3/4 days. It was strongly suggested that i do this by a friend, while i still am sceptical :). We'll see, wont we ? ]
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