I realize that, for the most part, what i really need are a few, well-placed, kicks-in-the-arse to keep me / get me on track.

I got quite a few today.

In fact, every time i appear to have done a little well at work – it almost always has been on the back of at least one of these  ‘getting-my-arse-kicked’ episodes. Sort of on a rebound, so to speak.

Is this normal ? Doesn't it show a complete lack of motivation ?

Do i really know where i WANT to be, in the macro sense ? Like, long termish ?

Maybe the fact is that i DONT really know – not really thinking about it – thusly making me drift – and just responding to stimulus (the ‘getting-my-arse-kicked’ episodes)