Notes on the Ladder Theory

I have been obsessing about the Ladder Theory all afternoon. In case anyone hasn't read the article in question, please go forth immediately and do so.

Important takeaways:

a) I firmly agree with the idea that Girls have two ladders* - the 'Potential' ladder and the 'Never' ladder. (*Although the girl or two i discussed this article with seem to think that they only have one ladder.)

First impressions last pretty long, especially with girls. Girls form quick, rigid categorizations based on an initial assessment and from there it is quite hard to switch ladders.

b) Guys, i can quite confidently say, have only one ladder, "conflating both desirability as a mate and relationship value into an overall measure of priority" to quote the article.

This (i think) explains a lot of things.

A guy, at one time, can only work on one top ranking female or maybe a few more top rankers on his ladder and there is a general lack of civility, consistency and interest to work on most other females - resulting in erratic, sometimes 'troll-like' behavior - often sabotaging his chances with potential girls who happened to be lower ranked at that given time.

Girls - because of this general dual ladder concept - are much more level headed, stable in terms of sending out signals / general interaction with blokes from all kinds of ladders.

c) As ive always believed, the 'nice guy act' normally results in more harm than good. You go straight on the 'Never' ladder. The 'nice guy' can be quite tricky to explain - girls often send out mixed signals about what characters they find desirable - nearly all the time cryptic / not forthcoming about what they find 'potential' worthy and what they also like - but in the um, 'friend' sense.

d) And lastly, i think girls (atleast whilst they are officially not committed) maintain a fairly flexible, Open ended short list from the amongst the blokes on the 'Potential' ladder and retain one single communication quality with all members in the short list, atleast during the entire courtship / until time runs out (one way or the other)

On the contrary, guys tend to run Close ended ladders - with fewer candidates, often with no new entrants unless some of the older members on the ladder are removed for some reason or the other.

e) One, often overlooked aspect - which of course has a BIG say in the general scheme of things is that - females are, on an age to age basis - about 20% ahead of males on the 'relationship quotient related emotional maturity' score - probably even more so in the Indian context (what exactly is this and why? thats another long theory in itself. not today, im afraid. But im sure u get the general idea).

Now noting that for a male with females of the same or slightly older age on his ladder - this represents a significant disadvantage - while for a female looking for a suitor with any acceptable age configuration (usually nearly equal to or slightly older) this is hardly a matter for concern.

So there.

Disclaimer: I normally am quite sensible and all screws, nuts, bolts firmly in place. But this, i felt, for this stage of life, was an important concept to imbibe for all of us.

WTF, much bull is shot for FAR wackier things.

p.s Now i originally intended to do this as a tag* - with people asked to:

-> Read the Wikipedia article first and then post short opinions on:

1) One ladder vs two ladders for women.

2) Weightage given to first impression.

3) General agreement on a single ladder for men

4) The 'Nice guy' approach - Right or wrong

5) Opinion on open ended female ladders and close ended ones kept by males.

(*Thank the lords that i havent. Be warned that i might, if response is tepid :x)